Women are lumping crazy
by lizzyleefree
Summary: Marceline helps Finn sing a love song to Bubblegum. Finn is convinced that PB will be different this time, but after years of pining after her, is she really who he still wants?


**A/N: I'm in a little writer's block with my main story right now, but I hope this is enjoyable at least. In sifting through songs I loved in middle school, I stumbled across the song in this fic- "El Scorcho" by Weezer. They were better back then-"before the lead singer was happy," according to a friend of mine (funny how that works with musicians). It just captured Finn's unrequited crush on PB so well that I couldn't resist writing this. Despite how it looks at first, this turned out to not just be Fubblegum drabble like I initially planned. The lyrics are personalized for them a bit, but I do not own the song or the show.**

Finn the human trudged his little noodle legs towards Marceline's cave. It was urgent and it would have been a lot faster to ask Jake for a lift, but he just couldn't bring himself to do that. He told himself it was because he didn't want to interrupt his date with Lady, but really it was because he knew Jake would laugh at him when he found out what he was going for.

Finn had heard a lot of peeps say they were in love. He was 18, though, and over the years, he came to realize that not everyone meant the same thing when they said it as he did.

Some people said they loved other people in the same way they loved tarts, meat pies, or video games. That was a completely different feeling for Finn, though, and he didn't know why they both shared the same word.

Some people meant they just really wanted to make out or some junk, and saying "I love you." was the magic phrase to get to do so.

When Jake said he loved Finn, he knew it meant they were bonded forever as brothers and that he would always be there for him. Of course, bros don't say that junk out loud most of the time, but they both knew it.

Then there were some people who said it that were just plain lying.

Finn had to know which way Princess Bubblegum had meant it.

After a minute of walking through the dark, dank air of the cave, Finn found Marceline's house and banged on the door obnoxiously, "Yo, Marce! Marcy? You home?"

The door flung open and a demon with glowing red eyes hissed venomously inches from his face. Without even a flinch, Finn just said "Sorry, did I wake you up, Marceline?"

"Ugh, what is it, Finn?" she returned to her normal form and floated inside the house, leaving the door open for Finn to follow, "You know you've got to call ahead if you want me awake during the day."

"PB said she loved me!" Finn blurted out.

Marceline, rarely surprised, stopped in her tracks and gave Finn a dumbfounded look, "Whoa! That's heavy."

Finn felt his way to Marceline's rock hard couch (not that she ever sat on the thing), and plopped down, his eyes looking wide and vacant. Finally saying it out loud made it all seem so real. Marceline floated above the couch and asked "How in glob's name did that happen?"

Finn felt a hot, red blush creep into his cheeks and suddenly Marceline had her cold lips on the side of his face. "AGH, what the hey-hey, Marce?"

"What?" she said innocently, as she backed away to lick her lips, "I was thirsty." Her face was flushed with he red she had just drank and she reclined back in her pajama sweats. Finn looked into the mirror across the room and saw his skin was even paler than Jake was a few weeks ago when he put a "mysterious, but awesome smelling meat" he found behind the fridge inside his everything-burrito.

"So?" prodded Marcy, "How did she spill the beans?"

Finn shook his head, "It doesn't matter! I just want to be sure she means it in the same way I wish she would. I want you to help me write a song for her, please."

"Um, not to poo on your parade, Finn, but the last time you sang her a song about losing a lock of her hair all she did was avoid you for a few weeks."

Finn cringed at the awkwardness of the memory, "Yes, but it'll be different this time. I'm a maaaaan now." He puffed out his chest proudly and flexed his biceps.

Marceline merely rolled her eyes. A few decades was nothing for her and here was little Finny ready to conquer the world at 18. He had grown much taller, with slender, densely muscled limbs, and a voice that was overall deeper, but still cracked wildly when he got excited.

"Come on, Marcy, please? I'll owe you big time."

She gave him a cock-eyed grin of consideration. She could make him tell her the story of PB's love confession before she would help him. It would be entertaining to watch him flounder and stutter and get all puppy-eyed. Luckily for Finn, she decided she would just hold the favor over his head later, because she was in the mood for a jam sesh. In answer to him she simply took out her axe bass, plugged in the amp, and gave him a pumped up smile.

XXX

Princess Bonnibel Bubblegum was sitting quietly in her chambers, reading the history of the lumpy space clone experiments (they went horribly wrong) when a shadow was cast over her book. She looked up and jumped to see Finn floating there. He gave her a friendly wave with that innocent little smile of his. PB looked below his feet, expecting him to be standing on stretched out Jake. She was surprised to see his black shoes dangling in the air.

"Up here, Bonnibel." growled Marceline.

PB met her old friend's eyes, wearing a gigantic sun hat and holding Finn afloat by his collar. "Oh." she said coldly, "What do you guys need? I'm very busy." She began to walk towards the door when Finn's voice stopped her.

"Wait!" she turned to look as he swung his feet and flew from Marcy's grasp onto her cobble-candy-stone window sill. "I-um- wanted to tell you something, PB."

Finn stared at PB just for a little bit longer than necessary, taking in her pink, soft hair tied into a loose bun on the top of her head, her perky little cheek bones and bright, smart eyes. Then PB strained a smile and looked away, getting that familiar uncomfortable expression she always did when he looked at her like that. Finn suddenly shook his head and looked away, too.

Marceline floated in and unstrapped her bass, starting the song intro before things got any more awkward. PB jumped at the sound of percussion behind her, and looked to see a rickety skeleton (probably a minion of Marceline's) who had somehow sneaked into her room with a full set of drums.

Finn heard the song starting and scrambled to remember the words he had jotted down just hours earlier.

_"Glob darn you half gum-human girls_

_Do it to me every time_

_Oh, your butler said you shred the cello_

_And I'm jello, baby_

_You won't talk, won't look, won't think of me_

_I'm the epitome of dorky chivalry_

_Why you wanna go and do me like that?_

_Come on down to the street and dance with me."_

PB let out an exasperated sigh, and gave an embarrassed smile as she met Finn's gaze. It was either embarrassed or annoyed- he couldn't tell. Shrugging, and figuring it was too late to stop, he went into the chorus.

_"I'm a lot like you so please_

_Hello, I'm here, I'm waiting_

_I think I'd be good for you_

_And you'd be good for me."_

_I asked you to go to Marceline's band's concert_

_You said you never heard of them_

_How cool is that?_

_So I went to your room and read your diary:"_

PB gasped and furrowed her brow while Finn gave a meek, apologetic smile. It had been against his code of honor to do such a thing, but that diary was just lying there already open, and he rationalized that it must not be too private if the organized Princess Bubblegum left it out like that.

_"'Makin' candy peeps, watchin' meteor shows, flyin' on swans...'_

_And then my heart stopped: 'learnin' magic in the sand,'_

_I fell in love all over again."_

Bubblegum's eyes widened and Finn gulped as he sang the chorus again, this time a little shakily.

_"I'm a lot like you so please_

_Hello, I'm here, I'm waiting_

_I think I'd be good for you_

_And you'd be good for me_

_How stupid is it? I can't talk about it_

_I gotta sing about it and make a record of..._

_How stupid is it? Won't you give me a minute_

_Just come up to me and say hello_

_How stupid is it?_

_For all I know you want me too_

_And maybe you just don't know what to do_

_Or maybe you're scared to say: 'I'm falling for you.'"_

Finn glanced up at PB, but her expression was impossible to read- wide, blank, and staring, with her hands wringing anxiously behind her back.

_"I wish I could get my head out of the sand_

_'Cause I think we'd make a good team_

_And you would keep my fingernails clean_

_But that's just a stupid dream that I won't realize_

_'Cause I can't even look in your eyes_

_Without shakin', and I ain't fakin'_

_I'll bring home the turkey if you bring home the bacon!"_

For the first time, PB laughed a little bit after that line.

_"I'm a lot like you so please_

_Hello, I'm here, I'm waiting_

_I think I'd be good for you_

_And you'd be good for me ."_

The guitar and drums silenced and Finn stared at PB expectantly, who only met his stare back. There was a long moment, each wanting the other to explain themselves, before PB finally said "What's this all about, Finn?"

"Y-you, um, you told me that..." he trailed off as he read her face. The song did not have the effect he wanted it to.

"I told you what?" said PB, clearly growing impatient.

"That you loved me!" whispered Finn, a blush creeping onto his face again.

Bubblegum merely sighed, "When did I do that?"

"In that thing in the envelope!" said Finn, actually stomping his foot a little bit.

"That was a card, Finn."

"Yeah, and you said you loved me!" said Finn, his voice rising in pitch a little.

"I said 'Love, Princess Bubblegum.' It was just a thank-you card, Finn- a gesture of gratitude for all the times you and Jake saved me from the Ice King. It was to both of you, so how could you think I meant it romantically?"

"But- I..." Finn's arms fell to his side and his eyes glazed over as he realized his obvious mistake. It was to both him and Jake, now that he thought about it, but he had just been so excited to see the words "Pricess Bubblegum," "Love," and "Finn" all on the same page that he chose not to notice it wasn't just to him.

Finn slammed his microphone down into the floor angrily.

"Finn!" shouted PB indignantly.

"'Love' is a stupid word!" shouted Finn, "You say it and it means you like me because I'm just some skinny kid who saves you all the time, but when I say it I mean- I mean..." his voice cracked as he trailed off. He wouldn't say to her that he meant he would die for her in a second. That he would spend his life with her without question if she loved him in the same way.

"Finn, it's not you-" said PB softly, but Finn interrupted her.

"No, you don't have to try and make me feel better. I've had all these princesses swooning all over me for years. Then, I came just a little bit close to moving on with Flame Princess, but she left because she was too hot for me- literally. Ever since then, the only princess I've held a flame for is you, but no matter what I do there's just no chance in the Nightosphere I'd ever have a shot with you. Ever since I was 12 years old, there was only you, but you just saw a valued knight."

"Finn, I'm sorry. I show my love to my kingdom, but loving individuals closely as more than subjects is..." a thoughtful look overcame her, "difficult. I haven't felt the way you're describing towards anyone for a very long time, and I don't know how to change that."

Finn wondered how long a "very long time" could possibly be. After all, she was only 23. She still looked exactly the same as she did when she was 18, though, and lately he suspected that maybe 18 years for her didn't mean the same as it did for him- just like love didn't. He watched PB as she gingerly sat down on her plush purple couch and he joined her, careful that his arm did not brush hers.

"I'm sorry I got all cray-cray for a minute there, Peebles. I'll always be your friend."

She gave him a genuine smile- probably the first one that day that was not from nervousness or pity, "Thank you, Finn. Believe it or not, it's hard for me to make real friends."

On the other side of the room Marceline muttered something about the reason for that being because she was a "boring, uptight egghead."

"So, umm..." started Finn, "What made you so different when you were 13?" He remembered painfully the free spirited, playful Princess Bubblegum who was enamored by him and even graced him with his first kiss. It was hard to remember happier moments than when she was the same age as him, or sadder ones than right after she changed back to her detached, serious, 18-year-old self.

"I had to become an adult and put my kingdom first. I just got more into my science than others, and I never really got back to where I was before." she paused, surprised at herself for revealing so much, "I think you should go, Finn."

"Well, I'm sorry to bother you, Princess." Finn stood and gave his childhood crush one last look of longing before walking towards Marceline to get a lift back to the tree house.

"Finn?" asked PB suddenly, making him stop. There was a pause as they stared at each other before she whispered "I hope you find someone who can make you happy- someone you can be with. Don't ever let your friendship with me hold you back from that."

Finn just stared, unsure of what to make of that, before giving her a weak smile and jumping out the window, scooped up a second later by Marceline.

The vampire and the human were silent the whole flight back to the tree house. Marceline laid him gently on his bed and returned minutes later with a mug of coco.

Finn eyed the undead girl suspiciously as she held out the steaming beverage. "Umm, you know it's the summer, right, Marcy?"

Marceline blinked rapidly with mild confusion, "I just heard that mortals present their friends with hot drinks when they're upset."

Finn smiled at the sweetness of the gesture. Honestly, a cold glass of water would have been much better, but the immortal really had no way of knowing that, with as little as the weather affected her. He took the steaming mug and she backed away. He sipped a little bit, sweat beading up on his forehead. Marceline just stared at him cautiously from the ceiling, like she thought he would break any second.

"So, um, Marce?" asked Finn, not sure if he was asking something off-limits to the temperamental vampire, "When did you get so...nurturing?"

Marceline hissed and threw a book towards him that he barely dodged, causing the coco to spill a little on him. Finn jumped up and stripped his shirt off as he yelled, "Agh, tosaty coco!"

_'Deffs and off-limits question,' _Finn thought to himself. Marceline quickly flew up and looked at the mark on his stomach where a red welt was developing from the coco burn. Her face was inches from his bare torso and he suddenly became very self-conscious. He slipped another shirt quickly over his head and stared at Marcy warily. She was acting really weird.

"You are so vulnerable." said Marcy with amazement.

Finn glared, "Whatever! It's just a little burn! You've seen the kind of awesome battle wounds I've scored from evil junk and dungeons, so I am_ not _vulnerable!"

Marceline crossed her arms and gave a little cackle, "Whatever, weenie."

Finn sighed and dropped it, deciding he really didn't have the energy to get into a brawl with Marceline. "So- do you, like, wanna go somewhere? There's supposed to be a movie tonight. We could meet Jake and Lady there."

"You're really ok?" asked Marceline suspiciously.

"AGH, stop thinking I'm vulnerable! What did Jake tell you? Why do you think I'm just going to be moping around over PB?"

Marceline rolled her eyes, starting to lose her patience with being unnaturally nurturing, "Whatevs, it's not like you haven't done it before."

"What?" hissed Finn.

Marceline looked at him and raised her eyebrows, realizing she said too much. "Oh, nothing!"

"What did Jake tell you? I'm gonna kick his little yellow booty!" Finn yelled.

While a Jake beat-down could be entertaining to watch, Marceline decided to just tell him what she saw.

"He didn't have to tell me anything. I was there,years ago. That night. I was expecting today to maybe be the same thing." said Marcy quietly. Finn just stared at her, hoping she was not talking about the night he thought. Unfortunately, she confirmed his suspicions, "The night the tree house burned."

Finn's memory flashed back to that time when he was 14. The longing for 13-year-old PB was still fresh then and she had just rejected him (again). Then, something inside him just snapped and he laid in the fetal position crying while he surrounded himself with her pictures. It was, to say the least, not his proudest moment.

Finn covered his face and let out a frustrated groan, "Why do you always creep around our house, Marcy? Do immortals not like privacy or something?"

"Meh," she shrugged apathetically, "that's what's you get for moving into my old place."

Finn slumped his shoulders and walked across the room to grab his sword, "I don't know if I feel up to the movie tonight. I'm gonna go slay some evil to clear my head. You don't have to worry about me, though. I'm not like I was when I was 14 because I already half-expected PB to act that way."

"Whatever, I wasn't worried!" spat Marceline defensively.

Finn chuckled, "Alright, whatever you say, Marcy."

"Well, I'm glad you're closer to getting over her than you used to be."

Finn was taken aback. He cocked his head, "Why?"

"I just got tired of you drooling over that nerd and her never giving anything back, ya know?"

Finn stood in the doorway and set down his sword slowly. Marceline was being one weird chick today. It was obvious to every one that knew her well that she cared for others, but it was very rare for her to show it so openly. He watched as she floated over too him, her body inches from his. Finn's muscles tensed up she observed him closely. He could see every detail about her, from her smooth looking gray-blue skin, to her shining, floating mass off ebony hair, and to her large, crimson eyes. It was one of those few moments that he remembered she was a _girl. _Suddenly the quick, but vivid image of the time he accidentally saw her naked years back flashed through his mind. He thought it was weird how back then he found it disturbing, and now the memory made him feel it was anything but.

He shook his head a little, kicking himself for feeling pervy, and backed up a little bit. "So, Marcy? Whatcha doin'?" he asked nervously.

"Shut up, I'm thinking." she said absentmindedly. After a few more seconds she reached her hand up to his hat and slipped it off the top of his head. His golden hair fell to his lower back in cascades and surrounded his face like a halo of light. That's when the queen of darkness, inches from him, spoke again, "Mind if I get a taste of your innocence?"

"Wha-" started Finn, but he was silenced as Marceline's face drew even closer to him than the rest of her already was. Her lips were parted and her eyes were hooded a little bit. She drew closer slowly until Finn could see every one of her eyelashes and feel the coolness emanating from her cheeks. He constantly fought the impulse to back away for the simple reason that he no longer wanted to. He felt his heart banging inside his rib cage and was sure she could hear it, too. He struggled to keep his breathing even and keep his arms stiffly at his sides.

Just as he parted his lips and began to close his eyes, she stopped, looked up at him, and began to back away.

Before he even really thought if what he was doing, Finn weaved his fingers under her hair and cupped the back of her slender neck. He gave her an imploring look with his blue eyes, and she met it with a mischievous, willing grin.

Then he pulled forward and kissed her. It was timid at first, but then as she tilted her head just a little, wrapped her arms around his waist, and began to kiss back, he got bolder. She tasted like cool fall air felt when he breathed it in for the first time each season. His other hand that had been hanging awkwardly to the side, came to rest on the small of her back and drew her in closer. Her hair bagan to slowly float up around them and embrace the both of them, like a living blanket. Finn felt his feet leave the ground as she wrapped her arms around him tighter and they floated up towards the ceiling.

Kissing her felt like a long drink of water after years in the dessert, except he didn't know what he was thirsty for until right at that moment. Of course the thought had crossed his mind, but he always thought it was beyond impossible for an immortal to like him that way. She was always down for adventure, jam sessions, and parties. As rough as she was, he knew he could come to her with anything. Besides Jake, she was the only friend who was like that for him, including Bubblegum.

Marceline broke off the kiss, looking relatively unruffled compared to Finn, who was stunned and breathing hard.

She laughed lightly and played with a lock of Finn's hair, "Well, that was fun. I'll let you go slay stuff now. I guess you're more over Bubblegum than I thought you were."

Marceline floated away before Finn could get his voice working again. He looked down towards his sword on the ground, but didn't bother to pick it up. He stumbled back over to his bed and sat down, brushing his lips with his fingers to convince himself that what just happened was real. He flopped down on the bed, trying to make sense of all the day's events.

Women exhausted him even more than fighting The Lich.


End file.
